Spinach & Ramp Pizza

Today I’m gonna leave you all with a quote and a recipe and go back to studying until my eyeballs fall out. I’ll holla back when I am done with exams, done with college and no longer want to punch a puppy.

We absolutely must leave room for doubt or there is no progress and there is no learning. There is no learning without having to pose a question. And a question requires doubt. People search for certainty. But there is no certainty. People are terrified — how can you live and not know? It is not odd at all. You only think you know, as a matter of fact. And most of your actions are based on incomplete knowledge and you really don’t know what it is all about, or what the purpose of the world is, or know a great deal of other things. It is possible to live and not know. —Richard Feynman

(thanks Miriam)

Ramp & Spinach Pizza

Adapted from Smitten

• 1 bundle ramps (leeks will work too!)
• 1/2 (1 big handful) spinach
• 1-2 Tablespoons olive oil
• salt
• cornmeal
• 12 oz. pizza dough (see below)
• 1/3 cup tomato pureé or sauce
• 1 clove garlic, minced

For dough:

• 1 1/2 cups flour (I used 1/2 cup whole wheat, 1/2 cup bread flour, 1/2 cup buckwheat flour [obsessed] and it was deeelish!)
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 3/4 teaspoon active dry yeast
• 1/2 cup lukewarm water
• 1 Tablespoon olive oil

1. Combine the bread ingredients in a bowl and mix well. Dump onto a floured surface and knead; add flour as needed to create a nice ball. Knead for a minute or two then oil a mixing bowl and roll the dough around so it’s coated. Cover with plastic wrap and leave for 1-2 hours, until it’s doubled in size.

2. Dump the ball back on a lightly floured surface and press the air out with your hands. Fold into a ball and let it sit 20 more minutes.

3. In the mean time, slice up the ramps. Place a pan on medium heat and once hot pour in the olive oil. Add the white and pink stem parts and sauté 3-4 minutes. Add the green top parts of the ramps and the spinach and sauté another minute or two until the leaves are just wilted. Set aside.

4. Sprinkle a pizza stone or baking sheet with cornmeal and preheat your oven to its highest temp. Stretch the pizza dough to a 10-12” circle. Add the tomato pureé or sauce, sprinkle with minced garlic and the ramp and spinach mixture. Pop in the oven for 10-12 minutes, or until the crust is golden.

9 Things to Do When you Forget Mother’s Day

1. Call your mom crying because the rabies-infested stray cat you took in yesterday ran away. She will forgive you for letting this take precedent because moms are more compassionate than regular human beings.

2. Tell her the enormous diamond/flower bouquet/life-sized sculpture of her you made are so difficult to transport that they will arrive a little late. Upside: there is a slim slim chance she will believe this. Downside: time to get sculpting.

3. Call your mom and tell her you’re on an impulsive trip to Hawaii and with the time difference it’s still May 12 there.  If your mom has absolutely no perception of geography this could work.

4. Drink a beer and forget about it. Your mom will not like this one but you will.

5. Write a love song for your mom. Include such lines as “your eyes sparkle like Russian meteors falling out of the sky.” She could be impressed.

6. Write a haiku. Nothing shows your care like syllable counting.

7. Spend all of your money buying your mom a ticket to a Justin Timberlake summer concert. THIS WON’T WORK IF SHE ALREADY HAS ONE. Like my mom.

8. Play your mom a song you wrote over the telephone. Bonus if you pull this off and don’t know how to play any instruments.

9. Make your mom some o’ these:

Buckwheat Ployes Pancakes!

Makes 8-10 ‘cakes

• 1 cup buckwheat flour
• 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup cold water
• 1 1/2 cups boiling water
• 1 Tablespoon coconut oil (or other mild oil)

1. Combine the dry ingredients (flours, baking powder, salt) and cold water stir. Allow to sit for 5 minutes.
2. Whisk the boiling water into the dry mixture, creating a batter. Set to stand for 30 minutes.
3. Heat a skillet over medium heat with a bit of oil. Once hot, add about 1/4 cup of batter and cook until golden and small bubbles pop up all over the pancake (1-2 minutes) DO NOT FLIP! Remove from the skillet, carefully lifting all edges. Serve hot!

Apple Carrot & Ginger Spelt Muffins

Both of my parents love to stories about the eccentric and goofy people they lived with throughout their twenties. They talk about the weird foods these people ate, their poor hygiene, their unbelievable sleep schedules, the strange people they would bring home. When I was in high school I would use these stories to get out of trouble; “at least I don’t clip my toenails over your toothbrush” somehow saved my ass many times. That was a mild one.

It’s an unbelievably intimate thing– sharing a living space with someone you hardly know. Some do it to slice off a fraction of their rent while others are just looking for the security of having a living, breathing person to come home to. Some roommates happen as marriages of convenience (my sister and her roommate of two years met on Craigslist when they got jobs in the same town. When people ask, they still say they met through a friend named Craig). Of course, roommateships also happen with close, established friends. Even in that case, however, you get to know people a whole lot better when you live with them.

I have four roommates this year, all of whom are different and wonderful. One thing we share is a love of cooking (remember the aforementioned weird food habits? I am that roommate). This post is a special shout out to May, who is the baking queen of our apartment, constantly concocting some new project. Too many baked goods is a problem which I’m pretty sure only happens in our house (hashtag good problem to have). These muffins were one of many of May’s baking frenzies, and she agreed to put ‘em on the blog for all y’alls enjoyment. That’s the other thing about roommates– they’re awesome.

Apple-Carrot & Ginger Spelt Muffins

Adapted from For the Love of Food

• 2 cups spelt flour
• 1/2 cup ground flax seeds
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 teaspoons cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon cardamom
• 1 Tablespoon fresh ginger, grated
• 1/2 cup coconut oil
• 3/4 cup agave nectar (or maple syrup)
• 3/4 cup almond milk
• 1 cup shredded carrot (about 2 medium)
• 1 cup shredded apple (about 1)

Preheat the oven to 325*

1. Combine the flour, flax seeds, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and cardamom in a bowl and whisk together. Add the ginger, coconut oil, almond milk, agave nectar, and vanilla- stir to combine. Add the carrot and apple and mix until a smooth batter forms.

2. Line a baking pan with cupcake liners or lightly grease with coconut oil. Fill each cup about 1/3 of the way for normal muffins or overflowing (as pictured) for jumbo ones. Place in the oven for 22-25 minutes at 350. Remove and test with a toothpick in the center to make sure they’re done. Set to cool for 15-20 minutes.

Vegan Fajita Friday

 

This Friday wasn’t just like any old Friday, usually reserved for watching 7 episodes of your Netflix TV show du jour and writing in your diary about all the interesting birds you saw that week (oh, just me?). It wasn’t like any other Friday, where you peel off whatever disgusting clothes have been clinging to your body in the library that week. No, this Friday was ¡Fajita Friday! 

The aforementioned lame excuse for spring weather that’s been bullying Madison for the past week prompted me to look elsewhere for warm weather inspiration. Seeking something simple that could serve the masses, I turned to my favorite thing that comes in a tortilla other than burritos. Fajitas are great because you can personalize them with whatever toppings you want (though everyone inevitably ends up with a similar-looking pile of salsa on their plate at the end). Add several packs of beer and a chihuahua and you have a ¡fiesta! I just figured out how to do an upside down exclamation point, can you tell?

 

 

 

 

Vegan Fajitas

Makes 4-6 Fajitas

Lentil & Tempeh filling

• 1 cup dry lentils
• 3 cups water
• 1/2 cup tempeh, chopped finely
• 2 teaspoons cumin
• 1 teaspoon chili powder
• 1 teaspoon tomato paste
• 1 Tablespoon vegan Worcestershire or BBQ sauce
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt, or to taste

Peppers & Onions

• 1-2 Tablespoons olive or coconut oil
• 1 green pepper, sliced into strips
• 1 red pepper, sliced into strips
• 1 onion, sliced into strips

Additional toppings:

• 4-6 tortillas
• salsa
• chopped peppers & mango
• sliced lime
• avocado
• chopped cilantro
• hot sauce

1. Add lentils and water to a pot over medium heat. Bring to a boil then reduce to a simmer for 30-35 minutes, or until tender.
2. Combine the oil, peppers, and onion in a skillet. Sauté for 3-4 minutes, then reduce heat and cover. Cook for 10-15 minutes over low heat, until soft. Set aside.
3. Heat the skillet and add another splash of oil. Add the chopped tempeh and sauté 4-5 minutes, until lightly browned on all sides. Remove from heat and combine with the cooked lentils. Add the spices, tomato paste, and Worcestershire/BBQ sauce to taste.
4. Assemble fajitas!

 

Jerk BBQ Lentil Loaf (50 Shades of Lentils)

Happy April, fools.

I started writing a draft for this post at the end of last week and it started like this:

The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, my windows are propped open with chunks of wood that have broken off of the window frames themselves (COLLEGE APARTMENTS AMIRITE), and, much to the chagrin of my roommates, I’m blasting I Knew You Were A Goat When You Walked In on repeat. Spring has sprung.

I would blame my lack of posts as of late on the fact that my camera was commandeered by my sister to document an Easter Keg Hunt (think: egg hunt except drunken and sloppy), but really I’ve just been bedazzled by the awesome weather. In Madison, Wisconsin this means low 40s but compared to the snot-freezing, flesh-stinging, hope-and-dream-crushing winter we had this year I’LL TAKE IT.

Fast forward to this Thursday. It’s been raining so much that I forget what the sky looks like when it’s not leaking. Maybe it seems like I talk about the weather on here a lot. Maybe I’m a 90 year old. When you live in Wisconsin it’s the only option you have (being 90 I mean. Everyone here is 90).

Anyway, to lift your spirits, here’s a dish that makes a rainy day better. (What do we think about a new series called 50 Shades of Lentils?)

Spicy Jerk Lentil Loaf

adapted from For the Love of Food

Serves 4

• 2 cups water
• 1 cup lentils
• 2 Tbs ground flaxseeds + 4 Tbs water
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 1 teaspoon olive oil
• 1 cup oats (rolled or instant)
• 1 cup diced tomatoes or tomato sauce
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon smoked pepper (MY CRACK) or black pepper
• 1/4 cup jerk sauce or any BBQ sauce

Preheat oven to 350*

1. Combine lentils and water in a pot and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer 25-30 minutes, until the lentils are soft. Mash the lentils up a bit then set aside (mashing is important!)
2. Mix the ground flaxseeds and water together and let sit for about 15 minutes. This becomes egg-like in consistency and binds the loaf! Ahoy!
3. In a medium pan, sauté the onion in olive oil over medium heat for 5 minutes, or until the onion is translucent.
4. Combine the onions, lentils, oats, flax mixture, tomatoes/sauce, salt, and pepper.
5. Grease a loaf pan with a dash of oil, then pour the mixture in. Smooth it out, then top with jerk or BBQ sauce.
6. Bake at 350 for 40-45 minutes, until the loaf is firm and slightly browned. Set to cool, then serve with additional jerk or BBQ sauce on top if desired.

Baked and Stuffed Sweet Potatoes with Lemon-Tahini Sauce

Happy Pi Day, peeps n creeps of the internet. Rather than harassing you with some kind of pie or perhaps a math pun I will instead post vegan food and write something sassy about it. There comes a time in vegandom when you realize you are no longer a normal person and instead get questioned/made fun of for things like eating hummus with a spoon, hoarding kale, asking yourself “is jam an okay thing to eat straight?,” and eating lentils for six days in a row. Don’t listen to the haters, cuz as some very wise 3LW once told us, they gon’ hate. Being a vegan is about acknowledging your strangeness and embracing it. If accepting granola as one of my food groups is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

Here’s a dish that is some good, clean vegan fun.*
*can be enjoyed by non-vegans too**

**if they know what’s up

Baked and Stuffed Sweet Potatoes with Lemon-Tahini Sauce

Recipe for 1 potato. Multiply recipe for desired # of tates.

• 1 sweet potato, baked (400° for an hour or so)
• 1/3 cup uncooked quinoa
• 1/2 medium carrot, chopped
• 1/2 medium onion, chopped
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• pepper to taste
• 1/4 cup chopped kale
• juice of 1/2 lemon
• 2 Tablespoons tahini

1. Heat a small pot over medium heat and add chopped onions with a splash of olive oil. Cook, stirring, until the onion are translucent, 4-5 mins. Add the quinoa, carrots, and salt plus about 2/3 cup water. Bring to a boil then reduce to a simmer for 10-12 minutes. Keep an eye on the pot and add a bit more water if necessary. Remove from heat and set aside 5-10 more minutes, until fluffy.

2. In a small bowl, whisk together the lemon and tahini plus a dash of salt.

3. Assemble your tate! Take pre-baked potato and cut a slit down the middle. Pile on the quinoa mixture, kale, and top with the lemon-tahini sauce. Add salt and pepper to taste.

 

Coconut Carrot Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting

Well, snitches, we’ve practically made it. The last week of February is upon us and I’ve gotten through the buttcrack of the year relatively unscathed except for the radioactive gobs of mucus dropping down my throat en ce moment. WHAT’S THAT? YOU WANT TO HEAR MORE ABOUT MY GROSS TRANSFORMATION INTO THE UNDEAD? At least take me out for coffee first. Anyway, the point is, once February is over we can all go back to leading our daily lives without swaddling ourselves into straightjackets of fleecy layers before going outside and/or listening to Whitney Houston because it’s the only thing upbeat enough to balance out the sky’s 50 shades of gray. As we near the end, here’s a little bit of cheery deliciousness to get you through.

Coconut Carrot Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting

• 2 cups all purpose flour (or 1 cup WW + 1 cup AP)
• 1 cup of white sugar
• 1/4 cup brown sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 2 teaspoons cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon nutmeg
• 3 cups shredded carrots
• 1/2 cup canola or coconut oil
• 1/2 cup soy (or other non-dairy milk) OR orange juice
• 1/2 cup shredded, unsweetened coconut
• 1/2 cup of chopped walnuts

Vegan Cream Cheese Frosting

• 1.5 cups vegan cream cheese
• 2 cups powdered sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon (optional)

Preheat oven to 350°
1. In a large bowl, mix the flour, sugars, salt, baking powder, baking soda and cinnamon. I highly recommend sifting the flour if you have a sifter. Add the shredded carrots and the oil to the dry ingredients and mix well.
2. Add the milk (or OJ) and stir to combine, then fold in the walnuts and coconut. Pour the batter into a lightly greased 9X9” pan. Bake for 40-45 minutes, or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean.

For frosting: simply mix together cream cheese and sugar, then spread on top of the cooled cake. Dust with cinnamon to garnish.