My Babushka’s Veggie Fried Rice

In our household, things run like clockwork. No, hold on, I said that wrong. Rather, clocks run like things in our household. There’s no joking around here on 4th Soviet Street, never, no way. [Particularly not when I wear my sparkly kitty sweater].

I come into the kitchen for breakfast sharply at 8:30. Breakfast table conversation can range from my dreams to whatever news is broadcasting on the TV to the weather. Yesterday we talked about her theory that aliens exist and are undoubtedly going to smite earth soon because humans suck (really). I leave for class at 9:00 and if I’m not ready my babushka stands outside my door and waits. If I can’t zip the janky zipper on my boots fast enough she hikes up her bathrobe, bends at the hips, squats on her 74 year old knees and does it for me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I come home between 18:00 and 18:30 (that’s 6:00 and 6:30 PM, noobs) and within two minutes a pot of soup is on the stove heating up. I put on my slippers, wash my hands, and take my place at the table. My babushka commands information out of me regarding my day, which can vary from the weather to my classes to recounting my misadventures dealing with people in public. Yesterday she told me that women lose their ability to have babies after 25. By the time my soup is hot I have been thoroughly quizzed and am thrilled to have something to put in my mouth to turn it from a two-sided conversation to a monologue (hers).

Dinner in Russia a two-part ordeal. After soup there is always a second course. This is one of the most simple and delicious ones my Bab makes. No joking around.

My Babushka’s Veggie Fried Rice

• 1 large onion, chopped very finely
• 1 carrot, shredded
• 2-3 cloves garlic, chopped very finely
• 3 cups cold prepared rice (brown, white, wild)
• 2 Tablespoons sunflower or vegetable oil
• salt and ground black pepper to taste
• fresh dill and green onion to garnish! (optional)

As with all of my babushka’s recipes, everything is done by taste. If she knew how the internet worked and were writing this herself she would stress the importance of doing things “по вкусу.” Nothing should be rigid, you should add as much salt as you like (if you are her, this is a lot). That being said;

1. Heat a skillet over a medium-low flame. Add 1 Tablespoon oil + chopped onion and garlic. Sauté until the onions are lightly browned and smell delicious (~8 mins). Push this to the side of the skillet.

2. Add grated carrot and add a bit more oil to the skillet. Cook 5 minutes or so, stirring occasionally until lightly brown and wilted. Push to the side.

3. Add cooked rice and 1 Tablespoon oil or enough to lightly coat the rice. Cook 5 minutes, mixing occasionally, then mix to combine with the vegetables on the side of the skillet. Cook the rice and veggies all together another 5-10 minutes until lightly browned and smelling delish.

Garnish with fresh herbs and agree with your Babushka that aliens definitely exist.

Massage Your Greens: Kale, Sweet Potato Hash & Apple Salad

It’s Friday. FRIDAY. Gotta get down [into my bed for a nap] on Friday, Friday, weekend, fun, party, woo. You know the rest. Man, this was one of those weeks where nothing really happened but I’m absolutely exhausted, do you know what I mean? I was up doing work until 4 AM a couple nights ago and never really caught up. Yesterday I found out that I had missed the deadline for a bunch of my documents for Russia (I don’t think I’ve mentioned this on here yet, but I’m studying in St. Petersburg, Russia next semester! That’s a whole ‘nother discussion for another time). I spent most of last night rounding up forms and writing a letter to my future host family. It’s a little awkward explaining veganism in Russian. Again, another story for another time.

So remember how I have a bitch load of kale in my kitchen? I’ve had kale with almost every meal this week. Seriously. This has allowed for a lot of experimentation. Kale smoothies are better than they sound and kale with chocolate is worse than it sounds, in case you were wondering.

Despite a few flops I had great success with this massaged kale salad tonight. “Massaged kale?!” you say, “At the end of a stressful week shouldn’t I be the one getting a massage?” Well here’s the thing. Massaging kale is a weird foodie trick whose benefits are twofold: kale massaging is not only sensual and should be used in the most intimate moments (I’ll let you conjure up your own image of this winky winky) but it breaks down the kale without heating it so the nutrients all remain but the taste is less bitter. I mean, nothing like a little kale massaging on Friday night to get me in the mood…to eat kale. Okay, the recipe.

Massaged Kale with Sweet Potato Hash, Apples, & Toasted Almonds

• 1 bunch kale
• 1 1/2 Tablespoons balsamic vinegar
• 1 Tablespoon olive or grapeseed oil + a bit more for sautéing
• 1 Tablespoon maple syrup, honey, or agave
• 1 Tablespoon dijon mustard
• 1 Tablespoon lemon juice (about 1/2 a lemon)
• 1 medium tartish apple (I used a pink lady)
• 1/4 cup slivered or chopped almonds
• 1 medium sweet potato, chopped into cubes

1. Fold each kale leaf in half lengthwise and strip off the leaves. Discard the center rib (or save it to throw it in a kale smoothie or something). Tear the leaves into bite-sized pieces and place in a large bowl. In a small bowl, combine vinegar, oil, maple syrup, dijon mustard, and lemon juice. Whisk/stir together with a dash of salt then pour over the kale leaves. HERE’S THE FUN PART: GIVE YOUR KALE A NIIICE MASSAGE [this will never not be funny.] Rub and gently squeeze the kale until it begins to soften and wilt. Set aside while you prepare the rest of the salad.

2. Heat a medium skillet with a Tablespoon of oil. Add chopped sweet potatoes with a heft sprinkle of salt, pepper, and chili powder. Fry 7-8 minutes, stirring often, until the potatoes are crispy but soft inside. Empty potatoes into the kale bowl.

3. Add the sliced almonds to the skillet. Toast over low heat 3-4 minutes, or until lightly browned. Add sliced apples to the salad, sprinkle with toasted almonds, and toss to incorporate!

P.S. I am accepting massages.