Trip of Steppic Proportions

You know how when people talk about travel they always say stuff like “destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things,” or “experience, travel – these are as education in themselves” or “a ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for”? Well when I say “people” I mean  “no one”, and when I say “stuff” I mean “things I would actually say only after I’d Google image searched ‘larvae’ and plucked every hair from my head,” but I digress.

Last week I took a nine day trip to the south of Russia with the group of American students studying at my university. We took a 30 hour train ride south to Rostov-on-Don, where I took the opportunity to wade in the Don River and sing the classic Sisqo hit “The Don Song” (let me see that Don-da-don-don-don).

We drove around for about 5 more days in a ghetto bus with a velour interior and outer space-themed curtains. We went camping on the Steppe (I took this opportunity to make a million “Steppe” puns- lemme see you one, two Steppe), went to the largest Buddhist temple in Europe, spit off a bridge which unites Europe and Asia (my saliva was forever lost in the continental divide), visited a place called “Chess City,” and ate delicious Armenian food.

Traveling as a vegan can be a hit-or-miss experience, depending how flexible you’re willing to be. I prepared before we left (lugged instant oats, almond butter and dried apricots around a good portion of southwestern Russia) and every time we were near a store I stopped in to stock up on whatever fresh/dried fruit, fresh/canned veg, nuts, canned beans, bread, or dark chocolate I could find. I was lucky in that I was largely in control of my meals and unlucky in that I explored the frightening world of Russian preserved vegetables. FYI, pickled cauliflower is only OK.

On the other side of this trip I can say a few things about travel.

1) Preparation is key but you can’t anticipate everything (flat tires in the middle of absolute nowhere, nothing vegan except pickles and vodka for meals, etc). Flexibility is always a good thing but especially on the high open seas

2) Unexpected friends from random places are the best friends. I met some unlikely characters along the way (re: friends who make balloon animals together on a 40 hour train ride stay together). When we were at a stop along the way in a town called Voronezh I befriended a toothless woman who felt a Christmas sweater was appropriate for the 80 degree weather and gave me a free ice cream. When she found out I was from the US she petted my dirty train hair and cooed “Amehhhhhdeeka, Amehhhhdeeka!” and told me how she had a feeling she’d see me again on the television one day.

3) Steppe softly and carry a big stick.

*Almost all of these pictures were taken by my talented friend Sashinka (known to the rest of the world as Alex Bird). GIRL GOT SKILL.

On Cabbage Soup and Bun-fights

Here’s a piece of advice for you:

When your parents travel 4,000 miles to visit you in a foreign city and are on their way to meet your host parents please, for the love of kale, do not lose them.

It may be tempting to watch them teeter through the crowds of slick metrosexual men and fur-clad, stiletto-sporting gazelles but I’m telling you it’s no good. If and when you accidentally get on different busses in downtown St. Petersburg you will go through a set of emotions something like this: scared, amused, annoyed, confused, amused, scared, bored, nervous, hungry, scared and then you’ll realize you’re never going to see your parents again. Soon enough a random woman named Olga will be calling you to tell you she found some people who claim to know you and you will reconsider your belief in God. More likely than not you’ll hear your mom shrieking in the background “ISABELLE! HER NAME IS ISABELLE!”

Like I said, that’s no good. As you’ve guessed by now said situation happened to me last week when my parents came to St. Petersburg. We eventually made it to my apartment where my babushka had cleaned everything until it freakin’ sparkled. Russian women do not kid around about impressing guests. We walked in and despite the fact that I come into our three room apartment every day I was struck by how much everything looked like heaven. My babushka had bullied me into cleaning my room for weeks and I gotta say it paid off. We shall ignore the pile of gum, dirty bras, grammar assignments and chia seeds occupying my floor at the current moment.

The royal We plus my mom, dad, babushka and dedushka [grandpa] had what is called a чаепитие “chaepitie,” which I would translate as a tea party but Google Translate prefers “bun-fight.” Alright then.

This meeting was one of those things that I knew before during and after I would want to remember forever. Like, if you knew this cast of characters you’d understand that it was 100% guaranteed ridiculousness. I served as the translator and knowingly chuckled to myself the entire time while all parties smiled shifty grins and laughed uneasily at each other. Highlights: Igor Konstantinovich offering my dad vodka shots with a flick of the throat—universal Russian sign for let’s get drunk, babushka repeatedly telling my parents to eat more, my parents looking terrified, my babushka saying that she thinks of me as a granddaughter, my mom getting very emotional about it all, my mom crying, me telling my babushka “my mom’s very emotional,” my mom telling me “tell her I’m emotional!,” a huge plate of VEGAN BLINI, and, most importantly, so many people I love in one tiny, food-filled Russian kitchen. When I came to Russia I was nervous about a lot of things but finding a new family was definitely at the top of the list. Living with the Bab and the Ded has given me a new sense of family (a traditional, bossy, Soviet-style family, but family nonetheless) which I would not trade for any other family in any other city in any other part of the world.

Witnessing the fear on my parents’ faces when posed with the challenging of eating their weight in blini brought joy to my heart. The fact that my Russian grandparents were able to meet two of the people I love and admire most in the world was very special. As I like to say, this is a vegan blog so I’ll keep it from getting super cheesy but this is definitely going in my lifetime experience hall of fame along with that time I had a “Soviet Bloc out with your Cock Out” party and served only vodka and no chasers. I’ll tell you about it later.

Anyway, there’s nothing like family on family on family to make you feel loved. Speaking of love, my dad is newly in love with shchi, Russia’s second favorite soup after borscht. By coincidence my Bab made it this week so here is a recipe for y’all:

My Babushka’s Cabbage Soup (Shchi)

Don’t skimp on good quality vegetables. They’re worth it.

• 1 onion, minced
• 2-3 Tablespoons oil (sunflower or olive)
• 1/2 large head fresh cabbage, chopped
• 1 carrot, shredded
• 5-6 cups water or vegetable stock
• 2-3 small potatoes, boiled, peeled, sliced
• 2-3 Tablespoons chopped parsley
• 2 bay leaves
• 2-3 teaspoons salt, or to taste
• sugar to taste (Russian trick)
• black pepper to taste

1. Heat a frying pan and add 2 Tbs oil, onion, cabbage, and carrot. Sauté “to preparedness” (Russians love this phrase) over a medium flame, ~7-10 minutes. Add salt to taste.

2. Transfer the sautéed vegetables to a pot. Fill halfway with water/veg stock and bring to a boil. Add chopped parsley and bay leaves. Bring to a boil then remove the foam on top and reduce flame to minimum.

3. Add the chopped potatoes and garlic. Add salt and sugar to taste. (While sugar may seem strange in a savory dish it actually makes the flavors pop and even a teaspoon or two can work well). Cover and simmer on a low flame 10-15 minutes. 5 minutes before it’s ready add black pepper to taste.

Serve hot with some good black bread. Make it for your family, whoever that may be.

My Babushka’s Veggie Fried Rice

In our household, things run like clockwork. No, hold on, I said that wrong. Rather, clocks run like things in our household. There’s no joking around here on 4th Soviet Street, never, no way. [Particularly not when I wear my sparkly kitty sweater].

I come into the kitchen for breakfast sharply at 8:30. Breakfast table conversation can range from my dreams to whatever news is broadcasting on the TV to the weather. Yesterday we talked about her theory that aliens exist and are undoubtedly going to smite earth soon because humans suck (really). I leave for class at 9:00 and if I’m not ready my babushka stands outside my door and waits. If I can’t zip the janky zipper on my boots fast enough she hikes up her bathrobe, bends at the hips, squats on her 74 year old knees and does it for me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I come home between 18:00 and 18:30 (that’s 6:00 and 6:30 PM, noobs) and within two minutes a pot of soup is on the stove heating up. I put on my slippers, wash my hands, and take my place at the table. My babushka commands information out of me regarding my day, which can vary from the weather to my classes to recounting my misadventures dealing with people in public. Yesterday she told me that women lose their ability to have babies after 25. By the time my soup is hot I have been thoroughly quizzed and am thrilled to have something to put in my mouth to turn it from a two-sided conversation to a monologue (hers).

Dinner in Russia a two-part ordeal. After soup there is always a second course. This is one of the most simple and delicious ones my Bab makes. No joking around.

My Babushka’s Veggie Fried Rice

• 1 large onion, chopped very finely
• 1 carrot, shredded
• 2-3 cloves garlic, chopped very finely
• 3 cups cold prepared rice (brown, white, wild)
• 2 Tablespoons sunflower or vegetable oil
• salt and ground black pepper to taste
• fresh dill and green onion to garnish! (optional)

As with all of my babushka’s recipes, everything is done by taste. If she knew how the internet worked and were writing this herself she would stress the importance of doing things “по вкусу.” Nothing should be rigid, you should add as much salt as you like (if you are her, this is a lot). That being said;

1. Heat a skillet over a medium-low flame. Add 1 Tablespoon oil + chopped onion and garlic. Sauté until the onions are lightly browned and smell delicious (~8 mins). Push this to the side of the skillet.

2. Add grated carrot and add a bit more oil to the skillet. Cook 5 minutes or so, stirring occasionally until lightly brown and wilted. Push to the side.

3. Add cooked rice and 1 Tablespoon oil or enough to lightly coat the rice. Cook 5 minutes, mixing occasionally, then mix to combine with the vegetables on the side of the skillet. Cook the rice and veggies all together another 5-10 minutes until lightly browned and smelling delish.

Garnish with fresh herbs and agree with your Babushka that aliens definitely exist.